Orlando Counseling Specialists

As a family counselor here in the Orlando area, I am acutely aware of the many ways we are bombarded with ads that portray the holidays with the perfect happy family.  Most children, teens and families long to expereince the holidays with as much fun and laughter as possible, but for many - parents and children alike, the holiday hype is a painful reminder of someone they have lost, either by divorce or by death.  In my expereince as a counsoler, parents are great at masking their  pain for the children’s sake, and children rarely let on that they may be unhappy.  It is often awkward; who will understand?  Would or could anyone help if they really knew?  These are just some of the familiar questions I hear from families who dread facing the  holidays alone.It is important to remind ourselves that there is no perfect family situation.  In fact, twenty percent of families are headed by one parent.  We all know families in Orlando who have  been touched by such losses as divorce and death.  When we are mindful of such expereinces of pain in other people’s lives, we can all contribute in meaningful ways toward helping a parent, a child or a family better manage the stress that comes with such a loss.  What would it look like if our Orlando communities came together for one another?  Honestly, it would just take one family caring for another in order to make a difference.If you are one of the parents or children who find that divorce and/or death has created additional stress for you this  season, I have a few suggestions for you.  And for the rest of the community, I encourage you to reach out to those you know who are hurting and bring an extra blessing into their lives this holiday season.  Two suggestions:  (1)  Focus on WHO you have in your life and  how much you enjoy them.  Plan in advance how to make them part of your holiday.  Try new food, a new game and have fun together.  Perhaps try a new tradition and share it with some friends.  Take time to be with those who love and care for you.  (2)  Reach out to someone else in need of a friend or a blessing.  Reaching out to someone else helps keep the focus off the pain and onto the joy you can bring to another family.One of the traditions we do as a family every Christmas, is choose a family in the community to bless for twelve days (- the idea comes from the “Twelve Days of Christimas”).  We go out to the store and buy one item and write a poem that goes so mething like this:  “On the first day of Christmas, from our home to yours…one Christmas candle”.  We put it in a nice holiday bag, drive over to their house, put it on the front porch, ring the bell and run.  It is an absolute blast.  My son would say it is a great adrenalan rush because we have to be careful not to get caught.  The next day we buy two items and so forth, and on Christmas Eve, we bring a dozen cinnamon rolls and reveal ourselves to the family.  There is much laughter and fun as we all  share the close calls and stories over the past twelve days, and a special bond grows between the families.  This tradition has become a favoratie part of our hoilday as a family.Take time this holiday season, even in your own paian, to reach out and be a blessing to others.  Reaching out to another family is a wonderful way to channel your energy and sadness.  I can attest to the fact that giving a blessing to another famiy will come back to  bless you in ways you never imagined.Nancy A. Johnson, M.A., LMHC